No more YouTube TikTok or FB
FIRST CRAVING – FOMO ARROGANCE & EGO
DAY 5
My first real ‘craving’ to go back on Social Media happened yesterday – (Day 4). It was to be the ‘creator’ rather than the consumer on YouTube and TikTok
I ‘suffered’ with ‘fear of missing out’ – FOMO – I suffered with having a strong sense of arrogance (which I’m not proud of but this is a ‘real’ account of what’s happening whilst I get rid of my addiction to Social Media)- I was egotistical and clearly sat in boredom for the first time in 5 days.
So – it’s all been quite easy so far, this ‘give up social media’ thing…..
But that’s because I had some mini disasters going on in my life to detour my attention…
Issues with my car breaking – hiring a new car to work – stresses about work – stresses about customers – looking after my elderly father – looking after my kids – working out finances to now cover all my costs of my broken car and I guess even the ‘new new’ of saying “I’ve quit Social Media” gave me a ‘starter determination mind set’ that made it easy not to actually log on to consume or create on Social Media.
But yesterday things weren’t so stressful with my regular normal life …
Thing calmed down
There wasn’t anything to take my attention from my addiction to social media for the first time…… things were kinda calm and normal….
‘Bam’ ………”What do I do now!!!!!”
I can’t log on to YouTube “I’ve given up” – can’t go on TikTok “I’ve given up” – and can’t scroll facebook… “I’ve given up, remember”
I sit in the silence of the ‘normal’ day
……….
Erm…..
……what do people do in a ‘normal’, non stressful day….
Erm…..
Normally I’d reach for something crappy on YouTube to watch to rot my brain with – but the icon is deleted and I have a petulant school girl inside me thats eager to win against this addiction…..
So I sat there …. What do I do….
“I’ll read the headlines of the news, that’s a grown up, ‘normal’ thing to do…..”
Damn it!!! Why is the NEWS against me now!!!!!
The NEWS has been sent to ‘test’ me at day 4!!!
NEWS: People, as in ‘the public’, are apparently using TikTok and YouTube to learn about what I do for my career at an all time high! It states…..
Of course they are…GREAT – thanks NEWS!!!
Grrrrrrr this is not what I needed to read at all at this VERY TIME!!!
FOMO HIT IMMEDIATELY!
ARROGANCE HIT IMMEDIATELY “I have 23 years of experience – people should listen to me and use my videos to learn”
EGOISTICALLY THOUGHTS ENTERED MY MIND – I’m a GRADE A in my field – I’m 2 marks off the top mark. I am THE best – I ‘should’ make videos and edit videos and release videos!!! I’m the best!!!!
(Yes I know how that sounds and reads i don’t like being this brutally honest either – it’s pretty gross) – but the point of this blog is to be real and stop this addiction to social media and the realities of what has hooked me, a human being, to a phone pretty much every waking hour!
I mean – yes I ‘knew’ people went to those platforms to learn about what I do for a job – and that’s clearly why I made a flipping TikTok in the first place and ‘jailed’ myself into all this in the first place….
That’s why I made a YouTube 3 years ago and posted DAILY. That’s why I have my followers – my ‘fans’ – whatever that means – – my loyal subscribers…. (Tbf they were nice to me – the people from the beginning … I do thank them)
But my life has been stolen – my human life was not supposed to be in a computer like this…..
I’m in this life stealing mess – this ‘jail’ that I only can stop when I finally stop it MYSELF!
It was just annoying how my first ‘safe’ thing to do, check the news headlines – was immediately a TEST of my Will!
Nope – I still want out – it’s a never ending nightmare. A ‘jail’ you feel you can’t leave even though you have the key in your hand!!!
No I’m sorry but there must be another way for me to feel worth – to have value – to be satisfied and to get mild lifts of dopamine.
Humans were not supposed to be born with a phone in their hand and scrolling – this is utterly rubbish ….
There’s more to life that putting my face in a phone all day everyday…it’s wasn’t and isn’t supposed to be like this for humans…..
The platforms clearly are able to ‘hook’ us all in – whether we are a creator or a consumer- we think it’s entertainment, useful or a money making avenue – but once in, how do you leave….. honestly? How do you leave once in?!?!
How many people have left…..?
I’m going to be one of those people – I’m going to be one of the people who gave up social media even though Ive been in deep and once been totally consumed by it!
I’m leaving – i haven’t been kicked out – I’m leaving – how many people are in my shoes.
Maybe I should find them…. But how do you do that without being on Social Media?! lol!!!
People stay in situations until things are so bad they hate it, despise it or are disgusted by it – they say the analogy/metaphor – ‘people leave situations ‘when there’s too much smoke in the room to breath’’-
So how much smoke needs to be in the room for you?
I’ve hit my marker…,,
But like my WordPress handle reads – “there’s another way surely?!?”
We, humans, weren’t supposed to be online and looking at a small computer in our hand – all day, every day – and get everything from a box in our hand….
No I refuse to believe that’s what we were all destined to become.
I know it’s modern day life but it’s massively out of hand – it’s out of balance.
Too much choice – too many options – too my opinions….
I mean, if I ask you to choose the letter ‘A’ or the letter ‘B’ there would certainly be a divide immediately and lots of reasons why one letter is better than the other…… maybe valid reasons too…. But again, in the end, it’s just opinion….
We do literally everything on a phone – everything…..meet our husbands and wives in a weird online human shopping site too!!! So weird….
I want to find a different way to live…….
There simply must be another way then having my head in a phone or in a computer
No I’m DONE – I’m NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE
I’m breaking my addiction.
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Another-Way-Surely 