Is it just laziness and a deep ingrained habit that we try to get our social battery filled by using social media, instead of making plans to actually see people? Did you play the Sims by any chance?
No More YouTube No More TikTok – No More FB….
The Laziness of Social Media with friendships and connections – The ‘Effort’ we put in with ‘Real’ people & the ‘Want’ to, in real life!
DAY 9
I’m still thinking of my day with my friends yesterday.
It was like a withered flower within me had been offer copious amounts of water after a drought!
I was starved of human connection
The more my follower and subscriber count went up on YouTube and TikTok the more lonely I was getting …. I was watching sometimes 100s of subscribers a day join me……
This was exciting, at first, and gave me a sense of importance, of course – but in all honesty it didn’t really last long –
The stresses of now making ‘good’ videos went up – “are the videos good enough” “how can I say this again but in a different way (because, really, I’ve already made the video but a year ago”!)
The more followers I got the more I was in my phone getting lonelier and lonelier and isolating myself even more from the people who live in my house!!!!!!!
I’m sat staring at my phone with all my free time – wondering how to keep the subscriber count rising! But at the same time ignoring my kids!
I really feel, for me, that being a creator online, making videos and posting is like a ‘jail’ at is only locked with your mind.
More video making – more editing – more watching to check them over – more checking to see if they were ‘liked’ and commented on –
More and more responding to thankful messages or deleting the trolls nastier comments – responding to DMs ….
In the phone – in the phone – more and more – seeing black numbers changing – seeing black letters ‘speaking’ to me… people in my DMs saying “Hi” (only) – people in my DMs sending GIFFs and Memes – People in my DMs saying “can I ask you a question?” … but then there’s no question…. People asking me out for a coffee to speak further about something….
They was so much activity – so much busyness – so much noise – so much energy of …. Nothing …. Theres no actual ‘anything’
Loneliness … creeping in ……. Not talking to my kids enough – doing the bare minimum- not texting my friends, family or partner enough….
In my phone – “what video should I make next?”
Clearly im starting to think about my loneliness online now…. Im processing and considering here on WordPress…. Here’s my thoughts so far…..
Did you ever play Sims…..?
Your character in Sims is whoever you make it to be – it can be, yourself – someone you know – or I suppose a stranger – but I never did that… that didn’t seem fun….
Once your character is made with the way they look and dress – you pick their personality.
You can then make them life long wishes – what job that would make them more happy or what type of life would make them most happy.
If you achieve that in the game you get lots of rewards!!!
You then choose or make a house for your Sim – buy everything it needs – toilet, bath, fridge, bed, sofa, television… blah blah
In the game you have to look after your Sim or it will die or at the very least be extremely depressed
There is a meter for “hunger” so feed it or it WILL DIE – there’s a meter for bladder, so make it go to the loo or it’ll wet itself and be very dirty and very unhappy indeed.
Theres a meter for hygiene, so shower it or bathe it, or green gas will lift from its arm pits and it’ll be very unhappy….
There’s other meters but the one I want to write about is the SOCIAL meter…..
You can have a VERY VERY SAD SIM INDEED if they don’t socialise……..
The Sim won’t go to work if sad from not socialising…
The Sim won’t even play games or read when it hasn’t Socialised
The Sim will FOREVER by crying ….
The only thing you can do is sleep – eat and shower …. That’s it – the sim will reject anything else….
The way you can get your social meter up is – the phone …. You can call people and chat or invite them over – inviting them over is wayyyyyyyy quicker and better for the social meter (unless they hate each other or kiss each other partners of course….)
but you can phone maybe 4 or 5 other Sims to fill your social meter but, of course, time passes when they speak on the phone and of course they still get hungry or tired or need the loo, so phoning people isn’t great for filling the meter fast –
really…. you need to invite people over and see them and take face to face – throw a party or get in a jacuzzi together!!!
The other way you can get your social meter to go up is sending an Email – playing Games online – or Chat online….
This works but again it’s quite slow…. They have to be online for a while – but it works…
So here MY “beef” with that….
I think…. If I was the game creator that the more you are online trying to get the social meter up the worse it gets and the meter won’t go up if you are only on there trying to get your social meter up instead of seeing people or talking to people
Because I think thats more realistic
The game is a game obviously, but you can’t get ‘good’ social meter filling IN REAL LIFE from ONLY being online. It’s depressing and makes you sad in real life if you do that so should be portrayed in the game
I think the more the Sim tries to socialise online the less effective it should be – AND may even start to RUIN your social meter and ‘steal’ from the meter if done all the time….
The other appliances in the house go wrong. The cooker breaks, the shower breaks, the bath breaks. When these items break there’s a little tune that plays and you get used to this tune meaning that something in the house is broken.
So when you hear the sound, you have to look to see where your Sim is and whatever they’re using has just broken.
There may be smoke coming from the oven – it’s broken
There may be water coming out out of the shower – it’s broken
There may be water all over the floor near the bath – it’s broken
The item has been over used and has broken
I think that this little tune, this little broken noise, should sound when they’re on the computer for too long trying to get their social meter up!!!!
(I’m feeling all clever here on workpress now…. lol!!)
I think in REALITY…. That we should stop trying to get ALL our social life from a computer – it’s incredibly isolating and lonely.
And to be brutally honest – it doesn’t work. It’s pretends that it does – but it doesn’t
It’s incredibly depressing – we simply must see people face to face and talk to them. Or at the very least talk on the phone – (but it’s not the best either)
Seeing black letters on a screen LONG term is not enough for getting our real social meters up – we need to write in our WhatsApp group or to our facebook groups where our true friends and and family are and say “let’s have a coffee” “let’s ‘actually’ meet up”
Or, maybe GO to an event, if you need to make friends. An event of hobby that you enjoy and go there and SEE people and meet people with the same interests.
But then this brings me to my next point – laziness…..
Humans always want the quickest option.
Want to lose weight NOW, not in 3 months – want to have it NOW (Amazon delivery!) want it NOW NOW NOW!!
I wonder whether the want for everything NOW is making us too lazy to even look after our friendships and family relationships properly…
Are we too lazy, when we’ve had a long day at work – we just want to sit on the sofa or get into bed and speak to people online
That’s fine for a while – but when this becomes an ingrained habit and we do it for years and years and years, then we realise we haven’t gone out or seen our real friends and family for far too long.
Then we think something is wrong with us when we feel depressed and go to the doctor for low mood enhancements….
I’m working this all out and processing on a WordPress blog – so don’t take this literally if you don’t want to – but I’m seriously considering that being online and trying to get our social meters up over years and years and years is massively effecting our happiness
Arrange a coffee face to face with a family member or a friend today – go actually see them or at least arrange to go to an event with real people around
I think this is vitally important now….
