A bad day made yesterday easy but…. I dreamt….

No more YouTubeTikTok or FB..

No more daily Posting – No more brain rotting material to enter my mind

• • •

Day 3

Ok – so it’s 6am and I dreamt last night…..

I DREAMT last night!

Doesn’t sound like a big deal – but actually I think it is…

I dreamt of my step mum – she died 4 weeks ago…

have I not had time – not allowed myself time to process her death cos I’ve busied my mind with utter rubbish that doesn’t MEAN anything

I think that dream was necessary and needed. I had space and time to use my brain

My brain had space and time to work properly.

I also lost my hamster last week – and yes it was ‘supposed’ to be my children’s hamster … but it was mine….. he died and that hurt…. A lot ….. A lot

Wow….I dreamt last night! … I feel rested and calm today.

In my opinion my brain had the SPACE – the time to consider – think – and be used as it’s supposed to be used – it was able to have the space to process and therefore dream about really really important stuff……

I didn’t fall asleep to YouTube blaring some utter crap last night (which has been the usual routine for years….) there was silence in my room when I put the phone on the side to charge…..

My brain was free – I went to bed at 10pm – there was nothing to stay awake for or listen to – I felt the softness of my bed and calmly allowed my self to drift off.

Yesterday was crap – no more than crap – annoyingly shit…..

I was tired after a crappy day of my cars LED indicator breaking – being hit with insanely high estimates of how much it’ll cost to fix and stressing to find a hire company to hire a new car for my work week (it arrives today at 8am)

The only thing about having a crappy – no shitty day like that – is you don’t notice your ‘need’ or addiction to social media so much.

I wouldn’t have been upbeat enough to have made a ‘happy go lucky’ video for all my ‘fans’ haha – ‘fans’….. whatever that means – I wouldn’t have been able to were the fake mask of happiness in a video anyway…. More on that in another blog me thinks….

I didn’t have time to miss logging on to TikTok, YouTube or facebook due to all the drama with my car in multiple garages and stresses about fixing it and hiring cars – to either make videos for ‘peanuts’ or watch complete drivel to rot my brain….

So yesterday not using Social Media was easy…. Cos my life was so annoyingly difficult

…. And expensive…..

But I dreamt. I dreamt

I dreamt a really important dream. I am proud of my brain having the space and time to process my step mums death….

My poor elderly father…..oh god…..

Love – care – kindness…. Yes it was a stressful day but I was supported by my friends, my partner and family yesterday….

They CARED about what was happening to me and wanted to help in anyway they could – would I have missed that with the noise of social media in my head….

Real people…. Real thoughts – Real empathy, real help, care and kindness

I may have had a bad day yesterday but the REAL people were there – i saw them – heard them – felt them. Experienced them.

They are there….

I feel good today – it’s now 6.35am….

Let’s see what else happens ….. speak soon