The feeling of my addictions: The similarities I feel between giving up Drinking, Smoking, Bad Eating, Toxic Relationships & Social Media…
No More YouTube No More TikTok- No More Fb…
The ‘feeling’ of my addictions
Giving up Social Media Day 19
I’m seeing a pattern
I haven’t used social media since my 2 day blip!! I feel better for getting back on track.
I want to give up social media because I believe there has to be another way to live in this modern day era, rather than scrolling everyday!
Our children are born and literally given a screen now – there has the be another way of living.
The ‘feeling’ of my addiction……. I see a pattern.
I’m working out now if the pattern is the way I deal with addictions or are they just very ingrained habits.
I see strong similarities between my experience of giving up alcohol, giving up smoking and leaving toxic relationships – cutting calories, trying to eating well and giving up sugar.
I’ve Successfully Given Up Alcohol.
It’s been 7 years on December 21st 2026 since I gave up alcohol – I wasn’t physically dependent but I didn’t have a good relationship with it AT ALL – I started drinking and was drunk when I was 14 but had tried alcohol when I was 11
I drank for years and year – it was all wrapped up in my social life – binge drinking – socialising – growing up kinda WAS alcohol.. sadly….
I never had a good relationship with it – as i basically just used it to get drunk rather than taste it and enjoy it.
It was a deep habit in my life – and life makes it your habit by including it in all your days out – or deals at restaurants. It’s almost like life is set up for you to drink.
My relationships a lot of the time included lots of alcohol drinking. And one of my partners drank because, in my opinion, he was dependent.
I didn’t like who I was when I drank – I didn’t like the kids being around it and I wanted to give it up. I was sick of it
I tried to give up around 3 times – getting 6 months or 7 months under my belt but then drinking again
Peer pressure – husband pressure – holiday pressure – life pressure – parties – sorrows – escapism….
On the times I did stop I’d watch my other half get drunk on his own – I heard my other half tell me to stop NOT drinking as he clearly wanted his drinking partner back.
I hated being tipsy around my kids – reading them a bedtime story – they thought I was fun – but the guilt in that when I was sober made me feel disgusted with myself
I didn’t like who I was when I was drunk either. I think back to that person I was, and I really can’t stand her.
I gave up alcohol when I was 38 years old – I gave up drinking after I asked for a divorce – I wanted to be clear minded – my kids were 6 and 4 – leaving my husband helped me give up alcohol as I could delete alcohol properly
I’m proud I gave up alcohol. I made a choice – and I did it.
It wasn’t easy – not easy at all. I joined OYNB – (ONE YEAR NO BEER) and met lots of people also trying to change. I signed up for the 365 day program and begun.
It wasn’t easy – I cried – I watched other get drunk at Xmas or birthdays – I had FOMO – I was bored sometimes – I fantasised about drinking – I dreamt of drinking – I was offered alcohol and had to say “I’m not drinking” or “I’m doing OYNB” – or “I don’t drink” The first year was very very hard indeed – a lot of emotion. lots of sugar eating. Lots of learning what life was without alcohol.
I have also Given up Smoking….It’s been around 18 years now
I smoked 10-25 cigarettes a day for many many many years – again it was all wrapped up in my social life and marital life.
My lungs started hurting and I felt like could feel physical damage being caused….
The law about not smoking in public helped me to kick the habit – I was too lazy to stand in the rain – I didn’t like smoking that much! – I didn’t want to smoke in my house and I wasn’t allowed to smoke in the car due to the law so I kinda was weaned off it….
I saved a lot of money from not smoking or drinking – bills were far easier to pay!!
I left 3 Toxic Relationships – the last one being outrageously bad in 2019 – that relationship was 2.2 years (in total….there were lots of break ups)
That relationship was SO bad it nearly finished me off having any relationships ever again!
I vowed to just get cats
but as I took a step back from searching – I actually found myself looking at people differently.
I didn’t want drama – I didn’t want arguments – I didn’t want huge highs and terrible lows anymore – I was attracted to stability and was after ‘contentment’ in a relationship for once..
Because of my ‘want’ and ‘need’ to be calmer and more peaceful in my life, I managed to change my choices when finding a partner and finally met someone different to the rest!
I’ve been with my calm man now for 5 years and we haven’t really had an argument yet!
We talk and communicate really well – so when something comes up we can talk and sensibly get through whatever it it.
Because of this – I feel I can finally live life as it’s supposed to be lived – go on adventures, do things, go out and see lovely things, talk and communicate, share and listen, help and be helped – care and be cared for – be kind to and having someone be kind and thoughtful towards me! – instead constant fighting, arguing, shouting, not understanding, jealousy, defending – drinking – smoking – swearing – and leaving over and over again
So…
In a nutshell shell…
I’ve got experience of Giving Up ‘hard’ things!
And all of them hold similar emotions and feelings….
I cried – a lot – I had FOMO – I ‘missed’ I ‘yearned’ – my heart hurt – i felt I ‘needed’ – I ‘wanted’ – I needed to learn a different way of life – I needed to change my life not to have those things in it! I reminisced, I ruminated, I felt I missed out, I substituted, I craved massively!!! I cut people out – I met new people – I fantasied about my habit, I dreamt about it, i had to defend my decisions – I was sometimes very angry, low, sad, frustrated, void and empty.
I had to completely change – life had to be different – I had to carve my life into a different shape.
The ‘feelings’ or ‘symptoms’ (if you like) on all my separate addictions are seemingly the same – it’s actually quite fascinating. It is certainly a pattern!!!
Just to show – this next sentence could be for giving up Alcohol – it could be for giving up smoking – it could be for leaving a toxic relationship – it could be for eating less – it could be for giving up sugar – it could work for any addiction – watch ….
Giving up alcohol: I had FOMO – I ‘missed’ I ‘yearned’ – my heart hurt – i felt I ‘needed’ – I ‘wanted’ – I needed to learn a different way of life – I needed to change my life not to have those things in it! I reminisced, I ruminated, I felt I missed out, I substituted, I craved massively!!! I cut people out – I met new people – I fantasied about my habit, I dreamt about it, i had to defend my decisions – I was sometimes very angry, low, sad, frustrated, void and empty.
Giving up smoking: I had FOMO – I ‘missed’ I ‘yearned’ – my heart hurt – i felt I ‘needed’ – I ‘wanted’ – I needed to learn a different way of life – I needed to change my life not to have those things in it! I reminisced, I ruminated, I felt I missed out, I substituted, I craved massively!!! I cut people out – I met new people – I fantasied about my habit, I dreamt about it, i had to defend my decisions – I was sometimes very angry, low, sad, frustrated, void and empty.
leaving a Toxic Relationship: I cried – a lot – I had FOMO – I ‘missed’ I ‘yearned’ – my heart hurt – i felt I ‘needed’ – I ‘wanted’ – I needed to learn a different way of life – I needed to change my life not to have those things in it! I reminisced, I ruminated, I felt I missed out, I substituted, I craved massively!!! I cut people out – I met new people – I fantasied about my habit, I dreamt about it, i had to defend my decisions – I was sometimes very angry, low, sad, frustrated, void and empty.
I can see a pattern!!!
When I’ve gone on a diet it’s all the same too….Not that I’ve been successful at that….
When I try and give up caffeine it’s all the same too
Not that I’ve been successful at that either
The doctor has literally told me my blood sugar is high and I still eat sugar – I’m certainly addicted to sugar – without question…
But this pattern…. This pattern
Maybe I can use it to give up all the things I deem to be ‘bad’ in my life – follow it like an instruction manual!
Giving up social media feels EXACTLY THAT SAME ….
I have FOMO – I ‘miss’ I ‘yearn’ – my heart hurts – i feel I need’ – I ‘want’ – I need to learn a different way of life – I need to change my life not to have those things in it! I reminisce, I ruminate, I feel I miss out, I substitute, I crave massively!!! I cut people out – I meet new people – I fantasie about my habit, I dream about it, i have to defend my decision – I sometimes get very angry, low, sad, frustrated, void and empty.
Isn’t that fascinating. They are all the same….
Do I have the blueprint to giving up things?
